...has been heading for the deep end while I wasn't looking. (twinA) She has a fellow to confide in though.
Powerful negative emotions have been building and unfortunately she discovered an ignition source...whisky
Sounds like it was spectacular.
Drywall repair will be involved.
Monday, 16 February 2009
Saturday, 14 February 2009
Twisty Valentines
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbG2MfElkVc&feature=related
This isn't in any way a representation of my present relationship - or anything I've experienced in my family of origin; however I was a great lil' victim to the community at large in former days and have been witness to situations that have resulted in...shall we say a great imbalance of power
I don't know how to embed links in that oh-so-cool-continue-the-sentence-in-another-colour way...even though twinB has given me directions, so there's a link to one of the sweetest, saddest, sickest songs ever written. The visuals in the video are harsh - it's probably best listened to without, but the sound quality is good. This artist isn't well known but has a following everywhere in the world. I got goosebumps watching live concert footage of this song in Greece showing older men and women of Athens heartily singing along.
This isn't in any way a representation of my present relationship - or anything I've experienced in my family of origin; however I was a great lil' victim to the community at large in former days and have been witness to situations that have resulted in...shall we say a great imbalance of power
I don't know how to embed links in that oh-so-cool-continue-the-sentence-in-another-colour way...even though twinB has given me directions, so there's a link to one of the sweetest, saddest, sickest songs ever written. The visuals in the video are harsh - it's probably best listened to without, but the sound quality is good. This artist isn't well known but has a following everywhere in the world. I got goosebumps watching live concert footage of this song in Greece showing older men and women of Athens heartily singing along.
Sunday, 8 February 2009
Like Clockwork...
...TwinB has that old familiar 'corpse-like' feeling. She's developed it every 2 months going back at least 3 times. Telling her that it's a pattern seemed to make it easier to slog through - she knows she's done it before and came out of it after a few days.Wonder if this is another condition or simply a different wrinkle on the everlasting saga we seem to be on.
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Immortalized!
This lovely little person decided to do my portrait at the end of their art session when they had their own choice of subject matter. I did an intro to faces last year when they were in grade one, so she took the opportunity to demonstrate how much she had retained and further developed.It's quite a novelty to be the subject rather than the artist!
Monday, 2 February 2009
She Wasn't Supposed To Cut Down On The Mood Stabilizers Yet...
But she did.
I figured this out late today when I finally managed to contact TwinB on the phone. Last night she engaged in her 'routine' - drank too much, put on horror movies and in an attempt to delay cutting, she tried to carve some words into a buddha figurine instead of her arm. At this point, being none too co-ordinated, the knife slipped and cut the back of her wrist.*
(I couldn't resist commenting that she can tell people that she tried to slash her wrist but is dyslexic)
I was really baffled - she's been doing great - but now suddenly I heard those same old ghosts leaking from her voice...why did she sound so hollow? I hadn't seen it coming at all.
As we talked it through I discovered that she'd cut her divalproex to half in an effort to follow doctor's brilliant plan.
I'm rather shocked at how soon the results showed up, but at least now know the timing for my arrival if she embarks on that little experiment again.
As she was puking into the toilet, her cat positioned itself on the tank and kept batting the lid onto her head. She had to keep her arm pressing against it and said the cat pushed back with surprising strength. Not the easiest way to hurl especially since she ended up laughing in between. cats are amazing little shits!
*oh - apparently it was 'accidently on purpose' and landed on the inside of the wrist just below the base of the thumb.
I figured this out late today when I finally managed to contact TwinB on the phone. Last night she engaged in her 'routine' - drank too much, put on horror movies and in an attempt to delay cutting, she tried to carve some words into a buddha figurine instead of her arm. At this point, being none too co-ordinated, the knife slipped and cut the back of her wrist.*
(I couldn't resist commenting that she can tell people that she tried to slash her wrist but is dyslexic)
I was really baffled - she's been doing great - but now suddenly I heard those same old ghosts leaking from her voice...why did she sound so hollow? I hadn't seen it coming at all.
As we talked it through I discovered that she'd cut her divalproex to half in an effort to follow doctor's brilliant plan.
I'm rather shocked at how soon the results showed up, but at least now know the timing for my arrival if she embarks on that little experiment again.
As she was puking into the toilet, her cat positioned itself on the tank and kept batting the lid onto her head. She had to keep her arm pressing against it and said the cat pushed back with surprising strength. Not the easiest way to hurl especially since she ended up laughing in between. cats are amazing little shits!
*oh - apparently it was 'accidently on purpose' and landed on the inside of the wrist just below the base of the thumb.
Sunday, 1 February 2009
THEY (the image)
this is the artist's rendition of her stay in solitary on the psych ward. she was 14 at the time.what's the opposite of 'Happy Place'?
'THEY'
My visit with our local doctor went well - he was informative and empathetic and the exchange gave me a glimpse into the medical community's perspective regarding mood versus personality disorders. Don't know when they decided that a large chunk of their clientel should be shifted from Bipolar over to Borderline but I have a few hunches as to why.
(big surprise - I'm renowned for my theories, certainly amongst my closest circle)
They view those persistent, troublesome behaviours as 'impulse' issues; if They haven't been able to successfully manage or eradicate these problems over the course of a few years, it seems They will define the whole shit-storm as being ingrained in the personality.
Here's where I have a problem with that:
*those impulses aren't exactly something that a neurotypical person has to contend with so the clients are battling a myriad of weird shit that shouldn't be there to begin with.
Maybe the shrinks have factored that into their current view...I'll have to see.
*as for defining long term mood problems and behaviours as more of an innate personality deal, I s'pect that it's a case of 'if we haven't been able to solve this to our satisfaction you're just not trying hard enough'.
That was the situation just a couple of decades ago with ulcers (the husband and all his siblings endured that one) when the illness was blamed mainly on stress until an Australian researcher proved it was due to the proliferation of helicobactor pylori...
D'oh!
(I love that he did it in such an Australian way - cooked up a batch, drank it down, then set about figuring the best way to eliminate it)
So - what now?
TwinB will trot off to the Borderline Personality Disorder specialist and we'll see what shakes outta' that.
They is an image that TwinB put together following her stint in solitary confinement on the psych ward when she was 14. A previous occupant had somehow managed to scratch that word (in 2 or 3" high letters) into the enamel paint on the steel door.
when I find it I'll post it.
(big surprise - I'm renowned for my theories, certainly amongst my closest circle)
They view those persistent, troublesome behaviours as 'impulse' issues; if They haven't been able to successfully manage or eradicate these problems over the course of a few years, it seems They will define the whole shit-storm as being ingrained in the personality.
Here's where I have a problem with that:
*those impulses aren't exactly something that a neurotypical person has to contend with so the clients are battling a myriad of weird shit that shouldn't be there to begin with.
Maybe the shrinks have factored that into their current view...I'll have to see.
*as for defining long term mood problems and behaviours as more of an innate personality deal, I s'pect that it's a case of 'if we haven't been able to solve this to our satisfaction you're just not trying hard enough'.
That was the situation just a couple of decades ago with ulcers (the husband and all his siblings endured that one) when the illness was blamed mainly on stress until an Australian researcher proved it was due to the proliferation of helicobactor pylori...
D'oh!
(I love that he did it in such an Australian way - cooked up a batch, drank it down, then set about figuring the best way to eliminate it)
So - what now?
TwinB will trot off to the Borderline Personality Disorder specialist and we'll see what shakes outta' that.
They is an image that TwinB put together following her stint in solitary confinement on the psych ward when she was 14. A previous occupant had somehow managed to scratch that word (in 2 or 3" high letters) into the enamel paint on the steel door.
when I find it I'll post it.
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