- there would be a 20 year moratorium on titles composed of 'The ...insert title ...'s daughter'. You know, such as The Memory Keeper's Daughter, The General's Daughter, The Jew's Daughter...and on to infinity.
- I would not tolerate any more freakin British Columbia pioneer memoirs with titles that start with 'Never'. 'Never Chop Your Rope' ...'Never Poke a Porcupine In The Eye'...'Never Store Your Britches In The Crick'...okay I made up the last two but I swear every second stinking pioneer account published here seems to begin with 'Never'.
- and if in charge at a news agency where a reporter submitted an article referring to a small town as 'sleepy' they'd be fired on the spot.
Each time Global TV comes to town to cover our latest atrocity they always introduce Kitimat as 'sleepy' and somehow manage to find a citizen who - wide eyed - will go on about how nothing like this has ever happened here.
- did I mention that I'm pms-ing??